ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
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Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
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You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
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