scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
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