So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
PANTIES FOUND
Randomize
