Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
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