the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
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