oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
Randomize
