clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
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