i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
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