Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
Randomize
