beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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