Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
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