All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
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