**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
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Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
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Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.