In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize