Too much gin, very little bucket
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Randomize
