First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Randomize
