just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
