Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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