Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Randomize