i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Randomize
