If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
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