Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
