I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
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the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
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Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
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