yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Randomize
