Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
