A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize