How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Randomize
