I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
