I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
Randomize