My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
I lost the right to judge tonight
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
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