well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
Randomize
