Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
Randomize
