When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
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