id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
well you can't waste a boner
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
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