Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
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They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
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