omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
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