You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Randomize
