I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
What a dumb baby whore.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Randomize
