I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Randomize
