Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Randomize
