"it" just moved
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Randomize