It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
