Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Randomize
