I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
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