...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
Dick very happy bro
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
Randomize
