Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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