what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
Randomize
