We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
