i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
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