So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
