I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
Randomize
