i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
