Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
Randomize
