Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
I could make wine with my vomit
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
