I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Randomize
