do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
i just made my gag reflex go away.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize