dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
we made out on top of his cat.
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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