I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
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